What Do Love Triangles Say About Readers?

If you haven’t noticed, love triangles have entirely infiltrated YA literature. I mean, they’re everywhere! This got us wondering why this is and what this says about pop-culture, if anything. Not that vampire fiction has been demanding much attention in the academic arena, but as this theme continues to become ever more present, maybe it should. Have you ever heard of the Cultivation Theory? It’s a widely popular social theory that looks at the effects that television viewing has on people. Essentially the theory suggests that the more time people spend “living” in the television world, the more likely they are to believe their own social reality to be the same, or part of it. So that started us thinking- why couldn’t this apply to reader’s and the relationships they form with book-worlds? After all, people spend hours upon hours reading their favorite books, and I don’t know about you, but I find book worlds to be much more tangible than what I see on TV or in movies. Anyway, it’s just a curious thought, and even more-so when you think what affect love-triangles may be having on readers who are spending days and weeks of their lives, living fictionally within them. Even more, what affect is this having on young people who are only just beginning to define love? And if books are meant to reflect the human experience, have we missed something? Because neither of us have ever been in a love triangle. Anyway, all of these thoughts and conversations between Kathryn and myself led us to conduct our first ever discussion blog. The following short discussion takes a quick look at our thoughts, and those of four of our fellow book loving friends, on the whole love-triangle frenzy. Take a look and then join in on the fun!

The Group

Kathryn: One of the “Tiny Voices” here on our blog.

Tiffany: The other “Tiny Voice”.

Manon: A Librarian from France, currently living in Norway.

Margaret: A Tennessee school teacher for over 25 years.

Vanna: A North Carolinian Psychologist in training.

Tori: A marketing assistant in the remainder book industry and one of our blog’s volunteer editors.

The presence of a Love-Triangle is more pervasive than ever in YA fiction. How do you feel about them?

Kathryn: I honestly wonder why this is? Why have they become so “pervasive”? If writing is supposed to somehow reflect parts of the human experience, are we supposed to understand that this is a normal part of it? If so, then I’ve clearly missed out on it! Regardless, it is what it is- and my biggest problem with them is that I just simply don’t believe in them. Maybe in YA books, it’s more about these girls loving that two boys love them. That it’s more about them being loved than finding the one true love. This isn’t a true reflection of romance. But, in saying all that, I don’t necessarily always hate reading them either. They can add a little spice and suspense to a story. They can also add a dimension to a plot that would otherwise be absent. But in the end, I just know it’s not how romance works in real life.

Tiffany: My general feelings on love triangles is that they are not a necessary aspect to literature, and that they don’t have to be present for a book to be good. I blame Stephenie Meyer. Yes, I know that love triangles have existed since the beginning of fiction- that they were even present as far back as Camelot- but ever since Meyer’s huge success, they seem to have become an essential part of the YA formula. I’m pleading- “Authors. Originality. Please.”! But perhaps it is true; that there is nothing original anymore… but that doesn’t keep me from wishing. Sure, love triangles done correctly can add a suspenseful aspect to a story. I just hate that I have come to a place where I expect to always find one.

Manon: A good love triangle can both really spice a story up and make it even more addicting to read. But while it can be a really positive element, it can also destroy a good idea if it’s not done well. At the end of the day, a love triangle works when the author is able to write it in such a way that it reaches multiple age levels. This is why, at 25, I am able to [at times] really enjoy romance in a YA novel.

Margaret: In general, I’m not really a fan of love triangles. However, for the most part, I think they can be effective in drawing young readers into the story line because they are able to relate, in some way, to the situation. Most people go through the young love stage in which they “like” someone that either does not know or does not return their feelings. So the author can use this strategy to get the reader to “take a side” and feel part of the story. But for me, as I read them, I just try to see the pros and the cons of each relationship, and there is usually “a straw that broke the camel’s back” reason that makes me choose one relationship over the other.

Vanna: In my opinion, love triangles in young adult fiction are often predictable and sadly overdone. Quite frequently YA authors make a seemingly over-compensatory effort at complicating the plot through the use of embellished romantic content. I find that the remaining story line is bland and devoid of any true flair, making the romantic sections seem wildly and laughably exaggerated.

Tori: I “understand” why love triangles are used in young adult literature- because they draw people in, they sells books, they force readers to take sides… and they bring on controversy and conflict. That being said, I don’t like them. I find that love triangles depend on fickle characters, which always makes them seem weak to me. Obviously, loyalty, a quality I like to see in the main characters is completely absent. And finally, I hate that it’s always sooo obvious which two are going to end up together in the end.

What effect do you think Love Triangles have on young readers?

Kathryn: My first thought is that they probably have no effect at all. I mean, they wouldn’t have affected me as a young reader because I always knew the difference between real life and fiction. But if there was anything negative coming from this, it would perhaps be that young girls might think that having- or being in- a love triangle is cool? That would be such a lie, and if girl’s try it out they’d find out the hard way that it never works out in real life like it does in the books. Teenagers are already all over the place with their relationships- they change them as often as they change their clothes. Adding the extra stress of trying to juggle two guys at once would be a disaster! But overall, I just honestly don’t believe that love triangles are doing anything bad to the teenagers reading them.

Tiffany: I’m really apprehensive about how these stories define love, which leaves me with two major concerns: First, that it deceives young girls into thinking that there are any worthwhile men out there who would be willing to be in an “open relationship”… or more specifically, willing to share a girl that they love. On one hand, I want young girls to be taught to love themselves enough to expect commitment (if that’s what they’re after) from the guys they love. On the other hand I don’t want these open relationships or “love-triangles” to be something young women hope to aspire to. In real life, love triangles are negatively looked upon and should be avoided, if for no other reason than because they come at an extremely high price. This is the part of the story that YA books never truly convey. Even more, I believe there is something written onto the soul of every human that makes us want to be somebody’s “one and only”. But if these girls grow to expect love triangles to be a normal part of the growing-up experience, I fear what it will do to their hearts, because like I said, I don’t think it’s natural for us to want to share love. But as it is, we now have an entire generation of girls who have grown up knowing love triangles, such as the one they’ve read/seen in Twilight- where Edward loves Bella and because of his love for her, he accepts her “friendship” with Jacob. Yet Edward, knowing this, still doesn’t show any reasonable amount of jealously when this “friendship” looks a lot more like romance. These guys don’t exist in real life, and if they do, this reaction is certainly not coming from a place of love. It’s indifference. Plain and simple. I really don’t want young girls to mistake indifference for love, for there is nothing more heartbreaking in life than receiving indifference from a person you care about. My second concern is that the nature of these books is to have the girl love the guy she shouldn’t love; it’s the “forbidden love” theme. Then the love triangle is completed by the warm, secure, supportive guy, who loves her without question and with complete devotion- he is also the guy that never gets chosen in the end. What’s worse is that these stories are written in such a way that we don’t want her to choose the supportive guy. We cheer for the forbidden love, or the “bad boy”, who always conveniently gains all of the “good boy” qualities by the end of the book. In reality, people don’t usually change, and even if they can or do, it’s not worth betting on. Even more, it’s a tragedy to date a guy hoping he’ll change, not to mention unfair. No, in real life, girls should choose the nice, transparent one because, at the end of the day, he’s the one who makes a good husband. He’s the one we want to introduce to our friends. He’s the one we want to spend the rest of our lives with. I can only hope that young girls understand, that while the “bad boy” is thrilling… there are also good guys out there who can be both challenging and yet warm. Warm… safe…kind- it’s okay; it’s okay to feel safe in relationships and it is my biggest wish that THIS trait would be romanticized to young people… not these unrealistic, ridiculous, “happily-ever-after” love-triangles.

Manon: I really think that some teenagers can misread or misunderstand these love triangles. Think about all of the crazy buzz that surrounded Twilight, with the whole ‘Team Edward’ and ‘Team Jacob’ frenzy. I believe this happens because sometimes young readers become too involved in the fictional world. This is dangereous and insane! I have no idea if this is something new within this current generation of teens, but I know that I was absolutely never like this. Then it becomes an even bigger problem when some of these girls try to re-create these stories in real life. This is just so wrong! Some young readers obviously don’t have the distance it takes to separate reality from fiction. I don’t mean to sound like I believe the majority of young readers are incapable of maintaining a healthy balance while reading either. In fact, I think that most of them are quite able to leave fantasy in the book. It just boils down to the personality of the reader. Either way, the potential is still there for some young readers to be negatively affected, and I’m not sure if this responsibility falls on the parents or the author- perhaps both. But in the end, it’s definitely something to be mindful of concerning love-triangles in YA fiction.

Margaret: I think love triangles definitely set young people up with certain expectations for what a relationship should be like. They are also entirely unrealistic and are not what love should be about at all. For me, loyalty and commitment are two of the most important principles in life. But I think it’s impossible to portray these qualities within a love triangles because they are contingent on characters not being loyal or committed. This is the main reason I am not a fan of love triangles being so present in YA literature.

Vanna: The heroine’s featured in YA literature often speak to the realness of teenage awkwardness in a way that makes the character, and the story, believable. This flavoring of the story with sprinklings of real adolescent struggles adds the promise of a potentially obtainable reality; writers utilize universal sources of struggle to make the reader feel like she is one and the same with the heroine, a clever plot to keep readers mesmerized and coming back for more. However, from the stand point of an adult, having lived and learned through both good and bad relationships, I believe that this trend of love triangles is misleading if not potentially emotionally damaging for young readers. Teens, struggling to grasp new budding emotions and bodily changes, are susceptible to “magical thinking” where romance and love are concerned, particularly teen females. Books which feature love triangles, especially triangles including almost obsessive male attention and devotion, predispose inexperienced young women to expect astronomical amounts of affection, attention, adoration, and maturity from potential partners. It goes without saying that the average teenage male is anything but capable of providing these things. Overzealous expectations and wildly distorted views of love may cause young ladies to seek out the wrong kind of partner, or to refrain from giving young men a chance based upon unrealistic standards. Additionally, impressionable and insecure young ladies may associate the lack of amorous pursuit, like the ones featured in these love triangles, as an indication of some fault within themselves. They may wonder what special “thing” they are lacking personally, when the female lead (who is often portrayed as a highly relate-able character) is receiving endless outpourings of love from multiple suitors.

Tori: I think the biggest harm is that young people, who are too young to know what love really is, are trying to define it for themselves based on very shallow plot developing interpretations and the limited time frames offered by the pages of a book. Love triangles, of course, are unrealistic and more often than not lead to unrealistic expectations of love.

What is your favorite Love Triangle?

Kathryn: I never really love love triangles, but if I have to name one, I’d say the one from The Hunger Games. If Katniss had never been put into “The Game”, I would have much preferred her end up with Gale. I may have even wished that at the end, but the way the story is told, I understood why she chooses the way she does. Collin’s does a great job explaining the logic of Katniss.

Tiffany: My favorite love triangle- hmm, well I don’t usually love them so this is a bit tricky. I would probably have to say the triangle in Ally Condie’s Matched. At least I didn’t mind this one. Perhaps this is because I saw it as an essential building block to the story and not just an unnecessary addition of suspense. In Matched there is a very believable element to her loving both boys, just differently.

Manon: Katniss-Peeta-Gale, from The Hunger Games. It was great to see how Katniss was torn between the two guys. Most of the time I don’t really get into the love stories in books because it ends up being more annoying than interesting, but it wasn’t in these three books at all. I was really surprised.

Margaret: I don’t know that I really have a favorite love triangle, although one of the most widely known is the Twilight Series. The movie companies have played that angle, and it has proven to be very effective. For me, the love aspect of this story was basically the second main component, and as it was so fantasy based, I did not over think it too much. So I liked it “OK”. At the end of the day, the story would have been a completely different story without it… so I didn’t find it an unnessary part of the plot.

Vanna: I really don’t like any love-triangle.

Tori: Honestly, probably the one from Damned, in the Crusade Series by Holder and Viguie. It’s really discrete and doesn’t even happen until the second book, but so far it’s keeping me on my toes. I sort of want her to pick the one I know she won’t (and the third book isn’t out yet so we’ll see…).

What Love Triangle did you hate?

Kathryn: I really didn’t like the love triangle in the Vampire Academy series, by Richelle Mead. Rose (the main character) clearly never feels anything romantic towards Adrian. Her heart is always with Dimitri- but Adrian is just so pathetic about it and then Dimitri’s character changes… I just wanted the whole thing to stop. The entire “love” element in this story is just awful and actually takes away from the bigger story, which would have been much better without it.

Tiffany: Easy. The love triangle in The Immortal Instruments (by Cassandra Clare). A). I hated that I was forced to love a romance for 3 books between two people who are supposedly siblings. And B). that Simon, the best friend of Clary (the main character), forcefully pushes her through a frenzy of ultimatums, until she finally dates him. I found it painful every time she was kissing him ect., because I knew she was not remotely in love with him and was only dating him because she didn’t want to lose his friendship. How pathetic is this!? Any self-respecting guy should know better than to desperately push a girl into dating him!? He knew that she didn’t have feelings for him and was just hoping that they’d, what… change?! It just made me nauseous. And their whole best-friendship/romance made me dislike Jace (her supposed brother/ the guy she really loves), because he responds to it with total indifference. I am no fan of indifference, yet in this story I think it was meant to be charming. But hey, what was he supposed to do!? Clary was apparently his sister, and he was in love with her… which brings me to my final rant. I hated the author for putting me through the daunting task of hoping that a pair of siblings would somehow wind up together!?! They even have a make-out session, both still thinking they are brother and sister. Gross. I can’t describe how much I wish this love story had gone differently because, besides all this, it was a fun read. But this is too huge an element to have not strongly shaped my opinion of the book. It’s a lot to ask of me, as a reader, to trust Clare, as the author, to somehow work it out, that they’ll end up un-related in the end. Anelement of suspense? For sure. But a cheap shot nonetheless.

Manon: Sookie-Bill-Eric, from Charlaine Harris’ The Southern Vampire Mysteries (A.K.A: Trueblood- HBO’s hit TV series). I hated this love triangle in the first books (I haven’t finished them all) because Sookie is horribly annoying and at some points I just wanted to kill her.

Margaret: The love-triangle in Camelot. I think this is because it was so realistic I found it hard to endure. It touched on all of my values and principles- loyalty, commitment and trust. In the end, it was a lose-lose situation and I just always felt saddened by it. I am not a fan of sad books.

Vanna: Again, I really don’t enjoy reading any love triangle.

Tori: Oh, Twilight for sure. Why? Because Bella never loves Jacob. Everything about this relationship felt like Meyers was forcing it upon me. I think the tent scene pretty much explains my hatred of this entire love triangle in one sequence. Bella kisses Jacob in front of Edward who she love, who does nothing about it because… well I really don’t know. And for what? So by the end of the series Jacob can “imprint” on her infant daughter? Thanks for that one Stephenie Meyer.

Has there ever been a Love Triangle which you couldn’t decide which two you ultimately wanted to be together in the end?

Kathryn: I don’t really read stories that way. I always seem to have an opinion about what choice the person should make, and I assume that’s based on what I think the character truly wants. It always seems obvious to me where the character’s heart is, and ultimately I’m hoping she’ll follow it.

Tiffany: Easy- The Hunger Games. To me there wasn’t really a “love triangle” in this book, at least in the typical sense, because romance took a very private back-corner seat in the grand arena of events. I mean after all, who has time to think of romance when you’re “in the games”. But this is one of the few examples, where I completely didn’t know (even up to the last pages) who “the girl” would choose, yet I would have been fine either way. That is in complete respect to Collins, who is a genius author. I knew, as a reader, that I could trust her however she choose to write this one out. She has an uncanny ability to justify her characters actions and choices, so in this way, I found the love triangle to be very realistic and reflective of real life.

Manon: Again, The Hunger Games is the only one that comes to mind- it was just perfect. In the end, I had no idea which one was my favorite and I loved both couples. I just really enjoyed this story and have great memories of it.

Margaret: I would say The Hunger Games. It certainly didn’t turn out the way I wanted it too, but I wasn’t surprised that it turned out the way it did either. Looking back I think I had a feelings, based the “using” of people in the rest of the story.

Vanna: I honestly haven’t read enough of them to say.

Tori: Well, I’ve only read Matched, the first in Ally Condie’s series, but I honestly love both men in this story and would really love some sort of crazy twist to happen where she doesn’t end up with the one I think she will.

 

What are your favorites, least favorites and general thoughts on the whole love-triangle frenzy? Join in on the discussion and let us know what you think!!!